As the new year begins, I can’t help but comment on all the New Year’s resolutions and 'New Year, New Me' plans. Most of these goals are unrealistic to begin with, as people often want to go from doing nothing to making extreme changes. And then after 2 or 3 weeks when motivation drops, they eventually stop because their plan wasn’t sustainable or didn’t fit their lifestyle.

Set realistic expectations

First you have to ask yourself why and how you ended up in the situation you’re in now. Most people spend years being inactive and neglecting their bodies, yet they expect results in just a few weeks. This is not realistic. If you’ve done nothing for months or even years, you need to admit this to yourself and understand that it will take time to get your body back in shape. Be honest and realistic with yourself.

Set a clear goal

Think about what you really want to achieve and why. The 'why' is very important because it will help you create a plan. For example, if your goal is to lose weight, it will require a different approach and plan than if your goal is to run a marathon.

You need to start strategically. Be honest with yourself and write down all the reasons why you’re not where you want to be and what has held you back in the past. When you have all the reasons, distractions, and excuses in front of you and can see them clearly, it will be much easier to make a plan. This clarity will help you avoid repeating the same mistakes.

I suggest writing down all your goals, from the big, main goals to the smaller ones. For example, if you set a big goal for where you want to be at the end of the year, create smaller goals as steps to get there. Think about what you need to do each month to reach your year-end goal. These become your monthly goals. Then, break it down to what you need to do each week to be where you want to be at the end of the month. From the big goal to smaller goals, these will become objectives you need to accomplish every day, week, or month to achieve that goal by the end of the year.

But don’t be afraid to ask for help. If all this seems overwhelming or you think you don’t have the tools you need, find professional help - look for a reputable personal trainer or nutritionist.

Build habits

Keep in mind that motivation is not enough. If successful people relied only on motivation, they would quit very quickly, or at least when they encountered the first obstacle. Motivation usually keeps us going for a very short period of time, and while it may peak occasionally, you need to accept that your goals should never depend on motivation. Think about how many days a month you would go to work if it were only based on your motivation. Yet, you go on the other days too because you have to - otherwise, you could be fired, and so on. Apply the same mindset to your other goals in life. If your plan requires 3 training sessions a week, then you should go to the gym 3 times a week, no matter if the weather is bad or you’re not in the mood. You go because your goals depend on these workouts. Nothing should stop you from executing your plan if you have a clear goal. Yes, there may be days when you’re sick or face unexpected life events, but that typically happens less than a few times a year.

Take accountability

You need to hold yourself accountable for all your actions. You are where you are right now because of your actions, or inactions. Understand that only you are responsible for your current situation. You can't blame anyone else. It’s not your boss, your parents, your spouse, your kids, or anyone else - it’s you. You have to realize that, no matter what anyone does to you or requires from you, you are responsible for how you react. You only have one life, and the clock is ticking, so pay attention and be intentional with how you spend your time and energy. You need to understand that you can’t change other people, you can only change yourself. So, unless you change your mindset and actions, nothing will change.

Comparison is the thief of joy

You should never compare yourself to others. You are on your own path, moving at your own pace. You should use other people for inspiration and motivation in all areas of life, but remember that everyone has their own lifestyle, responsibilities, family dynamics, schedule, and even genetics. You probably don’t know what is truly going on in their life, so you should avoid comparing yourself to them or trying to copy their approach. What works for them will probably not work for you.

The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself. Your goal should be to improve and become better than you were yesterday, last week, or last month.

Start with one small step at a time

Keep in mind to build your goals gradually. If you weren’t active before, start with shorter workouts once or twice a week. Once you get used to it and it becomes part of your routine, you can add one more workout per week and see how it fits into your lifestyle and how quickly you adapt. Step by step, create something sustainable.

Jumping straight from not working out to doing five workouts a week will likely not end well. First, you’ll be very tired, and you’ll probably struggle to fit in five workouts a week when you’re used to not going to the gym at all. Start building new habits into your daily routine step by step. Introduce one new thing each week, and you’ll be surprised how far you can progress in six months.

I suggest writing down where you are now, what has held you back in the past, your goals, and how you plan to reach them. It’s easier to hold yourself accountable when you can review that list every day, reflect on your progress, identify what you’re struggling with, and think about how to improve.