6 things I would tell my 20-year-old self about personal style
When it comes to clothes, most people are guided by trends, even if they are not aware of it. If you shop at mainstream fashion brands, then you are probably one of those people. Another group is guided by the desire for status, so they wear clothes with brand logos they feel connected to and find more attractive because not everyone can afford them. But if you ended up on my page, I guess you are not in either of these two groups. On my website, I focus on well-made garments and timeless style, which means I mostly talk about clothes that were acceptable to wear 70 or more years ago and will still be considered the same 70 years from now. So if you buy timeless, well-made garments, most of your wardrobe should last you a lifetime. Yet, finding your personal style and what really suits you is not that easy. That’s why I wrote 6 things I would tell my younger self to help him find his personal style sooner and I hope this will help others on their journey to find their personal style.
Learn to accept yourself to find confidence.
When you are confident and feel good in your body, you will automatically feel better in the clothes you wear. The main benefit of feeling good about yourself and your body is that you stop caring about what other people think. This also gives you much more freedom in what you wear because you choose based on what you like and feel good in, not on what others might think.
Find you personal style.
Stop paying attention to trends and what other people wear. Focus on finding the style or clothes that represent your values and complement your personality. When you watch movies or look at art, think about what moves you and what you truly connect with, as this can be a great help in finding your personal style. Also, be honest with yourself about the clothes that make you feel good and those that complement your body type and your character.
Take your time to find the perfect fit.
When you're looking for a certain garment or outfit, don’t give up if the first item you try doesn’t fit. Try the same style from different brands, as the fit and material composition can vary noticeably. Take your time, and don’t give up too soon. I went through more than 20 pairs of jeans to find and understand what I really wanted. Don’t settle for a fit that isn’t perfect just because you want to hide your insecurities and flaws - if you try to hide in your clothes, your body language will likely give that away anyway. So, return to the first point: learn to accept yourself and be honest about your body and what truly fits you. Remember, not every style will work for every body type, and that’s completely normal. Accept this and focus on finding styles that complement your body type. Stop forcing styles that you like but don’t suit your body type.
Don’t be afraid to experiment.
Learn about the styles you like and prefer, the history of garments you’re interested in, fabrics, details, production and any rules you should consider when combining certain pieces. You’ll be much more confident knowing that what you wear works. But don’t be afraid to experiment with new styles or color combinations. Be open to trying different clothes and fits because you can’t know what really works for you and how you might feel in some styles if you don’t give them a chance and try them a few times. This applies not only to individual pieces but also to visualizing and trying out complete outfits to see how you feel when wearing them.
Never compromise on what you really want.
When you find something that you think is perfect but it’s out of your price range or your size is out of stock, don’t immediately try to find something that’s as close as possible to that item. Instead, take a day or two to think about it and if your feelings don’t change, you’ll know it’s the item. Settling for something that’s only close to your preferred item means there’s a good chance you’ll never like the second choice as much as the original. You’ll probably wear it less often, or only a few times, and then forget about it. Really think about that. You have two options: start saving to buy the item in the future or, if it’s a brand that might go on sale, be patient and wait. Your time should come. The goal is to create your own timeless style, so don’t worry if you can’t wear the item until next season. If your size is out of stock, contact the store or brand to ask if there’s a chance they might have more stock in your size or if they plan to restock in the future. If it’s a brand that also does wholesale, check with other retailers as well, there’s always a chance that another store might have your size in stock.
Wear what you want.
Always take your time to get ready and wear what you want. If you’re one of those people who feel better when they are neat and dressed up, don’t feel guilty about it. Life is too short not to feel great every day. You can feel good and wear nice things even if you’re ‘only at home.’ Don’t let others make you feel bad because you like to dress up and feel good about it.
The point of timeless style is to choose clothes that will never go out of fashion, so in theory, you should be able to wear them all your life. However, as we get older, our bodies change, so it’s normal for our clothes to fit a bit differently. Don’t feel too bad if you need to buy new clothes as you age. Always be honest with yourself about why you’re buying something. But also don’t feel guilty if sometimes you simply want to get something because it’s beautiful. We only have one life, so if you can afford it and it makes you happy, go for it. Wear what makes you feel good and never let other people affect or dictate what you wear and how you feel about it.
